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Day 1
I went to Sprouts last night and spent under $100 on a weeks worth of food for the husband and myself. I am really excited each time I open my fridge...I've never seen so many colors. A rainbow of healthiness is permeating each time I open the door and I am imagining myself slightly less neurotic and more energized as the days go on. I woke up this morning with my usual headache, as my brain cried out for caffeine, I had to tell it to relax...we would be eating plain oats with blueberries this morning, it would thank me later. I prepped some vegan chili last night and my carnivorous brothers gave it the thumbs up, so the day shouldn't be too bad with good eats all prepared in advance. Serious withdrawals haven't set in yet; my brain thinks I'm just lagging and that I will be in the cafe soon. I had some quiet time to reflect this morning...back into my devotional Come Away My Beloved...it reminded me that I can lay my head upon God's chest and get lost in him; it is there that I will experience life and peace, and the life-sustaining energy I seek. Tonight, I will be in scripture to see what else He has to say to me. This should be interesting, being that I've ignored him for so long.
...though you are sometimes indifferent toward Me,
My love for you is at all times as a flame of fire.
My ardor never cools.
My longing for your love and affection is deep and constant.
-C.A.M.B
Day 2
I am in a drink a glass of wine and listen to some Back to Black kinda mood, but I will have to refrain from feeding that part of this flesh.
A bit reflective and tripping out on various things and events that have happened in the past few months. The Spirit is stirring but I still feel the wild rebellion that needs to be tamed...A battle between what I know is good and what I need, and what I still crave. It was a good day, a quiet one. My mind is calm. I don't feel as bad as I thought I would, physically. Praying a lot and eating all kinds of good stuff. I feel light and easy like Sunday mornin'. I think I will ride my bike to work tomorrow.-peace...the kind of peace that surpasses understanding.
I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different -Romans 7.24-25 (The Message)
Day 3
These days encompassed so much exhaustion, temptation, and irritation that I found it hard to write. I rode my bike to work again, this time it wasn't so gloomy out....It was hot; however, on the upside, I killed two birds with one stone: cross-training for my run and a pre-tan for the summer. I came home from work and passed out cold on the couch, woke up the next morning still tired...made it to work and had some Valentines fun with my kiddos. Temptation set in hardcore when we made chocolate covered strawberries and decorated cookies.
We also made heart-cut sandwiches that looked reeeeeal good. I could not partake in the gluttonous affair : ( Got home and the husband and I went over to his coworker's house to be greeted with a feast of Mexican food and wine...needless to say, It was a hard two days and I had to fight through wanting to eat everything I encountered.
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different -Romans 7.24-25 (The Message)
Day 3
This morning was good. Husband crawled into bed late last night after work and held me super tight. I felt safe and warm inside my turtle-bear's arms...it kept me in a sweet mood until the morning. I woke up pretty early with all kinds of energy. I took my bike to work after all...and lemme jus say, ahhhhhh lawdy- 11.76 miles round trip, and a little drizzle in between, but it was well worth it and beautiful stormy skies kept me cool.
Lo B and I had a bible study before work that put us in check about trying to call the shots and be the project manager for God's plans in our lives.No Dice, says the Lord, I am the boss of the applesauce (paraphrased).
In food news, I'm getting sick of pesto sauce and whole grain noodles so I'm gonna switch it up tomorrow with some sweet potatoes or something...feeling like a champ otherwise. Also, Mommy Dearest hooked me up with a kettle bell (25lb) to get back in some beast mode sessions and build me up for the R n' R Marathon. Stoked! Thanks Momma.
Do not set out to establish your own designs. I have already set in motion My divine will and purpose, I would not have you interfere...Yes, you may do many things, but only that which I direct you to do can have my blessing. Resign all into my hands-your family, your friends, and your own self. Your own imaginings may speak more loudly, but wait upon Me always.
-C.A.M.B
Day 4
My head feels dizzy, my eyelids feel heavy...earlier, I had energy that I wasn't sure what to do with. In the moment, I am irritated and finding people to be unpleasant little things with voices that reach decibels that I am uncomfortable with, even when they whisper. Silence is beautiful and I am really craving a mocha frap. I want to impart physical damage on small annoyances. I will refrain and push on.
No case is too hard for me...Do not judge a man by what he appears to be, but instead see him as what he can be if he gives himself unreservedly to Me. -C.A.M.B
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap-sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on...
-Galations 5.19-21 (The Message)
Day 5 & 6
We also made heart-cut sandwiches that looked reeeeeal good. I could not partake in the gluttonous affair : ( Got home and the husband and I went over to his coworker's house to be greeted with a feast of Mexican food and wine...needless to say, It was a hard two days and I had to fight through wanting to eat everything I encountered.
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
-Galations 5. 22-23
25-26Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.
Day 7
Today was an interesting day. I completed a long run at Miramar Lake early this morning...10.01 miles, 9.15 pace (down one minute from two weeks ago). I wasn't really feeling the run and felt like I had no energy so it was a pleasant surprise to see the end stats. I was really fatigued afterward and went home and laid in bed with my Turtle-bear. It was a cozy sweats lazy day, misty morning, so we took advantage. My joints and muscles were done after that run so I downed some water and we watched a documentary on Joe Namath (famous quarterback for the NY Jets...quite a self-confident character).
It's interesting how the proud playboys end up broken-hearted in the end, poor guy. It was nice to see he turned up humble though. It made me reflect on how quickly life passes by and we often don't think about the consequences of our choices...after the documentary, I read on through Galations 6, and interestingly enough, it tied in perfectly with the documentary:
It's interesting how the proud playboys end up broken-hearted in the end, poor guy. It was nice to see he turned up humble though. It made me reflect on how quickly life passes by and we often don't think about the consequences of our choices...after the documentary, I read on through Galations 6, and interestingly enough, it tied in perfectly with the documentary:
.. 1-3 Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out....4-5Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.7-8Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.
-Galations 6.1-8 (The Message)
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