Day 8
Starbucks greeted me with it's ugly little wired hair green lady taunting me and inviting me in to indulge my senses... I walked past the store-front, into Vons and attempted to walk past the "Vons, in-store Starbucks" only to be stopped by the barista that often engages in meaningless conversation each time I pass...
I started shaking and getting all emotional when the sign started talking to me...the barista thought he would try to earn a role as the star-sales person by letting me know about their special promotions on cake-pops (a quarter off if I buy more than one), when I politely declined and asked for a cup of water, he went on to tell me how amazingly delicious the f*cking whoopie pies were! Ahhhhhhhh!!!! I started to feel a little bit like a tiger who hadn't eaten in a coupla days. 
I moved on through the store, grabbed what I needed and stood in line staring at the candy bars that seemed to be laughing at me...I wondered if I would need to call someone to exorcise the demons tonight cause they were in full force and covered in chocolate; then I remembered that I was already inhabited by Christ, so I couldn't possibly be demon possessed, silly me, It was just serious withdrawals finally kicking in...I pressed on.
I realized that I would need to get home soon to avoid lashing out or offending anyone when I walked passed some sweet girls selling cookies and had the desire to kick the giant smiling cookie who accompanied them.
11-12It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1.11-12) ~Rest in His Peace
Train your eye to discern that which is of true worth, and let it not escape you.-C.A.M.B
Day 9 (written from a day 10 perspective)
Today was the start of my monthly nervous breakdown...with that said, I was an angry little bird with nothing nice to sing about. I tried to put myself to sleep to spare the world from my indignant indifference but as I lay my head upon my pillow, 4 beasts crawled into my bed and gathered round fighting to lay next to me...I flipped-out for a minute and then regained composure sending the beasts to their own beds. We all passed out at 8pm. I did not read any scripture, but before I went to bed I prayed, God, I want to hear from you like I did when I first gave myself to you. Speak to me. 30 minutes later, I was out cold. My dreams were vivid entertainment for the evening; at one point there were roots growing out of my toes and I was explaining to Lo B (sister from the same mister, Abba) that every time I hang out with her, these roots start growing even more. I was very frustrated. In the dream, I reached down and ripped the roots out. 
Lo B was fashionably dressed in a Muslim Abaya and Hijab Cap doing some sort of Indian dance with my other coworkers on a football field. I insisted that she and my co-workers stop with their Indian dance shananigans so I could teach them how to fly; then I went on to swim through the air using my arms as wings much like a dog paddles through water...I got up pretty high before floating back down, gracefully of course. My co-workers were unable to catch on, so I flew away.
Suddenly my dream switched up and my co-teacher, friend Miss Kelly was in a room with two cats, asking me if I wanted the soft cat or the happy cat. I opted for the happy cat since it had such a big smile on its face that made me laugh....
very weird stuff my friends...things are starting to get psychedelic .
Today started off depressing. I really wanted some coffee and chocolate. My students brought me all kinds of treats that I had to give away (except for the chocolate wine of course, I'll save that for later...).
Mid-day, I started questioning why I was even on this dang fast...I was exhausted, in dire need of caffeine, and all I could smell everywhere I went was chocolate. I began to dig a hole in the sand to China with some of the pre-schoolers. I figured they understood how I felt...the cravings for chocolate anyway.
Suddenly, an angel appeared and reminded me that I was doing a good thing; purging my body of toxins, that my body had been addicted to these things for so long and of course it would be uncomfortable for a short period. She promised I would feel better in no time once my body got used to these foreign things called vegetables that it had rarely been exposed to; once it began producing natural energy. She suggested that I look up articles written by people who had fasted for encouragement. I did just that. In the process, I found the best article that distinguished between the spirit, the soul, and the body. How the body is the temple in which the blood, veins, organs, and the goods are stored. The soul, often referred to as "the flesh" is where our emotions, intellect, personality and will reside; our "thinking". Then there is the spirit part of us. According to scripture (God aka the one who created us, so he knows what's up) the spirit is the part that was dead (because of Adam's sin), but is alive now in Christ. It's our spirit that was born again when we accepted Christ as our Lord...while we have the Spirit of God living inside us through Christ (those who have accepted Jesus as Lord), we are still impacted by our Soul aka "the flesh". This is when you see the man driving the truck with all the Christian stickers with road rage, or the gossiping Christian lady next door who seems unhappy. There's even the Christian who always seems drunk or in a bind. Being new creations in Christ, the Bible challenges "Christians" to change and take on a new nature (transform our thinking and let it pour out into our actions and living in love), abiding in the Spirit. Don't mistake this with striving, it's merely falling in love with God because of His love for us and letting it change your choices and life. To make a long article short, the author goes on to explain that while many Christians have the Spirit of Christ inside of them, they've accepted Christ, they have not yet learned to walk in the Spirit; they have not entered into the transformation necessary to have the amazing life God created us for- we have the choice to make the changes necessary; choices that God promised will have glorious and positive outcomes (well how do we know what God says?---->read the Bible) So, do we continue to make excuses, succumb to the flesh, blame others for our circumstances??? Or, do we step out of the old and into the new; beginning a life with love, growth, and abundant living?
That day, I chose the latter...Fast, you aren't too hard. Goodbye self-pity, and onward we go. Onto day 11. (the aforementioned article can be found here: http://www.daniel-fast.com/spirt-soul-body.pdf)
P.S. a bible-thumping point to ponder: many have argued that the Bible is not legit, but have you ever read the life-giving truth found in it's pages? How does one argue with something that one has never read in it's entirety? Read it...word up.)
Day 11
Holy Cow! (but only in India) I think I've reached a turning point. I did not crave sugar today (or coffee), not once. I even took the handsome men in my life out on a date for Valentine's day and sat, watching while they devoured a Messy Sundae, and I didn't even salivate! I feel good. My appetite is light, my energy is steady. I'm feelin' like a champ. 10 more days left...I can't claim victory quite yet, but at least I made it past Valentine's Day. 11 battles down and only 10 more to win the war.
I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength! (Ephesians 1.18, The Message)
Okay. This is getting easy. I didn't have much of an appetite today and I was in a dang good mood for such a hormonal week. I haven't even had the desire to bite my husband's head off or eat my children. I am so happy I stuck with it because I was seriously thinking of throwing in the towel. The husband decided to take me out on a hot date for such good behavior. We went to a Mexican restaurant. This is what he had: carne asada nachos; hot wings, a beer. This is what I had: black beans, rice, salsa, a water. He thought he was torturing me by ordering everything I loved but in fact, I was totally content with my vegan dinner. It was filling and flavorful. However, when we went to see a movie, I almost lost it and gobbled up all of his popcorn. I am allowed popcorn but not the kind of popcorn creation the husband presented....excessive butter...the fake kind of butter too... No dice. I won't lie though, I took a few pieces of unscathed beauties from the side (5 to be exact).
I am guiding you. You need not look to people for direction. You may learn by much fellowship with the saints, but never allow any to take the role that is rightfully Mine--to direct your steps. As it is written, "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord"--not by the preacher, not by some Christian worker, but by the Lord. Trust me to do it...do not lean upon your own intelligence. Rest in Me...
-C.A.M.B.
Day 13
The week has ended. I had a great day at work. I love my job. Kids are seriously the raddest little creatures. This ginger-face cutie gave me some tulips today.
My love-bug Jeremiah Bull-frog challenged me to a race on the playground, Ninjago Gray let me bury him in the sand up to his knee caps, and Super So gave me random hugs and whispered he loved me. I came home to my beasts who were in a good mood and pouring on the love.The husband cleaned the kitchen and was patient with me when my blood sugar dropped after work and I snapped at him. I apologised after I had a smoothie and realized I was a bit psycho for a minute. I'm looking forward to my long run tomorrow morning. As I'm writing this comes the icing on the cake, my wedding song has just come on through Pandora...you think I'd leave your side baby...you know me better than that (Sade-by your side) I find myself falling in love with him all over again; in the midst of the busyness and organized chaos, he is my peaceful turtle with bear paws to hold me tight. Goodnight.
It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat...(Ephesians 2. 1-5)
Never Despair, for I am watching over and caring for you. Be not anxious. What seems to you to be at present a difficult situation is all part of my planning, and I am working out the details of circumstances so that I may bless you and reveal Myself to you in a new way...For I will remove the veil that separates Me from you, and you will know Me as your dearest friend and truest Comforter...
-C.A.M.B.
Day 14
The last day of week 2…This morning, I headed out for my
long run. Today, according to schedule, I should have completed 10-11 miles. I
ran 2.5 into the trail and 2.5 back then thought I was going to die. Yes, I
have a cold, and yes it was very cold out; but that never stopped me before.
With this fast, I have never felt better but the glycogen stores in my muscles
are almost depleted resulting in exhaustion just a few miles in. I went home and my knees were pounding and
aching. My calves felt really tight... I
started worrying being that race day is only 3 weeks away. I need to add some
more carbs to this fast and quick. I made an Orzo Mediterranean salad that
should do the trick. That and some pasta lunches for the next few days and I
should be back in the game. In other news, we had a nice family day today:
baseball, a visit to the Trumbo’s, shopping, dinner and a movie (again, this
time for the kids-Journey 2-good stuff).
At dinner, I didn’t have to combat any
cravings for sweets, this time it was a whole new monster nagging at my
appetite. One that I haven’t even missed except today: bloody cows and SANGRIA!
The steaks were looking mighty fine but I opted for a salad---lame but I will
stick it out. As for the Sangrias….we will make up for lost time soon my
beloved.
...heed My words; yes, do not walk carelessly, nor lay out your own paths on which to travel. You cannot know what lies in the distance, nor what adversity you may encounter tomorrow...you need Me; and no matter how well developed your faith is or how mature is your growth in grace, never think for a moment that you need My support any less...Move forward with courage and confidence, but always allow Me to walk ahead and choose the right path.
C.A.M.B.
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